House Life Teaches Lawrentians to Thrive

House life has always worked to make sure students are prepared for thoughtful, informed decision-making and readiness for post-Lawrenceville independence. And we have always adjusted to deal with the strengths and challenges that characterize each generation of students.

The opportunity to live in a reflective community – both House and campus – with a range of personalities and perspectives has been Lawrenceville’s true genius.

As a student in the Kennedy House, I remember the negotiations – sometimes intense! – about what we were going to watch as a House on the one TV and the rickety VCR. While it seemed trivial at the time, in retrospect, I realize that those experiences were the training for the everyday advocacies and concessions that characterize community life. 

Occasionally, we would be pleasantly surprised by the show or movie that we initially rejected. But more importantly, the sharing of time together (and the commentary that recalled Mystery Science Theater 3000) brought us together in ways that structured, mediated interactions simply cannot. Our wellbeing developed as we learned to manage situations that were not our initial preference, but we found the good and fellowship in them.

As a head of the mighty Dickinson House, I saw similar moments, especially around the planning and preparation for House social events. I knew that House social events are an interesting phenomenon – unique in that the success of the event is directly proportional to the students’ planning and effort. The students, however, had to learn that lesson themselves. There was never unanimity about what kind of event to have or when to hold it. But once the calendar was set, the students needed to pull together, and they took concrete steps for something only speculative at the time. 

Students still come back to campus and talk about our Winter Formals or the Barefoot and Crazy Spring Beach Bash that they hosted. And while the events themselves were ephemeral, the feeling of being together and offering up something good for others remains. 

Our current students started to come of age during the pandemic, and the confusing messages and tensions of that period informed their development. Their experiences at that impressionable age were typically family-focused and self-directed but also included fears of resource scarcity, social isolation, overreliance on digital and social media, having academic grades and performance be the only measure their schools could make of them, and the potential viral dangers of public places. Consciously or not, these same aspects now seem coded into the students’ sense of themselves and their experience of community.

House life combats all of those pandemic challenges and can help rewrite that code. And House life is most successful when students’ eagerness for social interaction, their desire to explore different aspects of their identity, and their willingness to balance their own desires with respect for others’ needs all complement each other in a supportive environment. That combination for House life sounds a lot like the recipe for personal wellbeing. So, the messages, discussions, and experiences in the Houses, coupled with the general atmosphere of kindness and dignity, can continue to do the essential work of creating individuals prepared for thoughtful, informed decision-making and readiness for post-Lawrenceville independence. 

These days, there may be fewer nights when the whole House gathers around one TV to watch a worn-out VHS tape, but Houses still put on fantastic events for the community and continue to imagine and deliver on new ways to be together, growing more comfortable with who we are.

As dean of students, Blake Eldridge ’96 H’78 ’12 P’25 is part of the Wellness Team that will shepherd the School’s new strategic plan, House, Harkness, Heart: A New Era for Community Wellbeing. This essay originally appeared in December 2023 as part of Lawrenceville’s VILLEage Voices series.